My blog has been pretty much a photoblog and it will continue to be so, but for today its my space to vent. I know here I can say how I feel and no one will judge or critisize me here and they can choose to read or not...Facebook is really too time consuming a habit that has been formed for me over these past however many years...it really had become an addiction not for how long I am on it but how OFTEN I check it my mobile whatever. The games were the most consuming and then I would see other peoples posts and it would deeply depress me. Life is happening for them and I am so happy for other I really am truly. Then theres a part of me who feels like my life is on hold and it hurts me when I feel stuck in a time bubble and it hurts even more everytime someone asks me how the Visa process is going - I know it is just out of concern and thank you for those who truly love and care for me and are looking out for me. I do however feel like a on going record and otherwise I dont get anywhere with a human conversation other than my own family and Mark when its like 12 at night and I am dying to sleep.
Anyway the thing that inspired me to write this. Conference such profound, wise and wonderful council. The facebook thing is from that...Im so thankful we have church leaders, the prophet and his councillors who really truly look out for us. They have opened my eyes more than once in regards to what I need to improve on, what Im good at and warnings of what is to come. I truly know they are men of God.
Other thoughts I feel Im getting picked on - thats another reason to not be on facebook. I will still be using it for photography related things but my personal life has been picked apart. I am ready to live life again outside of the internet. PHEW!
Another thing thats really deeply hurt me a family who have left my ward for good. I wont name them and I wont go into the details - its so sad for me because they answered my prayers when I was about to get married and things looked like pandemonium and wasnt going well - they told me not to fear because everything would work out in the end, because God loved me...and everything went beautifully. I have pondered over it alot and it has made my testimony strong in the fact that I myself (no one else this is jabbed at) that I need to keep tabs on myself and do the basics even when they seem maybe insignificant at times. Things like my scriptures and prayers and being with family all are simple but fundemental. I love the gospel and I know its true without a doubt. Im a simple person and have a simple testimony but I am thankful for what I know and have saught out in prayer. No matter what anyones journey is and what path they take. I love them anyway because if they have been my friends once upon a time they will always stay that way. I hope this comes across with kind intent and nothing that would offend as thats not what I mean.
Wow thats quite a piece I have written so far - other things Canada - Mark - Visa - new friends etc etc my trip to Canada was amazing too short and I didnt want to come home...my life was moving along finally!! Mark and me realised that we were heading into the next chapter of our lifes - the unknown exciting but really scary too. I know if I stay close to Heavenly Father we will be fine.
Mark let me say how I felt about everything in my life last night I needed to offload I let things go and to make a start to letting it go. I am still learning to be patient with others ways of doing things and just how life is sometimes.Thanks Markie for helping me with that!!
Finally in closing - do you have long time friends that you have known forever and you know who they are and what they are like then you dont see them for ages and they change - it hurts doesnt it...again Im not into the name and shame because Im not mean. Well try not to be anyway, I just wanted to write how I feel and get on with life. Why can't people just be happy for me and act NORMAL you know have a laugh, get along and say was great seeing ya mate - probably wont see you again but thanks for leaving a lasting impression with your shortness. I guess I wont hear from you again. What a sad day indeed...
I feel like singing "these are my confessions" by Usher haha on a happy note I really REALLLLY want to learn ceroc or some form of dance. I love music and I need something else to get me back on the move again. I should go swimming again I am lazyyyyyy. With exercise anyway - Zumba is good though. I think Ill be able to go to that soon if another class gets going in my area.
Canada photos will be coming soon I will put one up of me and Mark for now...This was taken by my new friend Laurie who I met and wow shes amazing cant wait to watch fried green tomatoes with her ;) and many good things like that. Ok I do digress heres the photo - hope your all happy and well. AHHH I feel like a burden has been liften off my shoulders.
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